Day 9 of quitting smoking, and a difficult time for my family.

Morning friends.

First of all can everyone give Kooky a giant thank you for me, she is doing a sterling job keeping the posts up so that there is plenty for everyone to look at and read, and they're fab. 


My Dad took ill on Thursday and got rushed to hospital from the care home he is in. He was allowed to go back to the home as there is nothing they can do. We don't want him in hospital as he gets very distressed and gives up trying to do anything, the staff don’t have time to care for him as the home does, and it is really not ideal. He has very advanced dementia and is not aware of what is happening around him. 


Sadly he is not expected to pull through he isn’t opening his eyes and is only taking fluids if fed with a syringe into his mouth. We have come to terms with the fact that he isn’t going to get better and that for him, he is better off if he does slip away as he has absolutely no quality of life. I wouldn't wish dementia on my worst enemies; it is a cruel illness that steals the person’s soul.

Okay doom and gloom over now the good news. I am still managing not to smoke, Thursday I had a rocky period where I thought I can't cope I need a cig. But then realised it was I was hungry, and in the past when I was hungry I often smoked, so I got back to my mums and made something tasty to eat and was absolutely fine.

Yesterday I managed not to use the Nicorette spray at all and barely thought about smoking at all. It is all going well and I am pretty sure that I can do this. I am as strong as I choose to be and anything I set my mind to I can accomplish, (shhhhh now let me convince myself lol)

I haven't got a nicotine patch on yet this morning so I will need to slap one on shortly I suppose, they leave a wonderful red square where they have been and I put it on my chest last night and oh boy, it looked delightful, hehehehe.

I had a disaster with fake tan on Thursday! The plan had been that we go shopping in town with my mum, so I had a shower and moisturised in the hope that I could go out in crop jeans with lovely tanned looking arms and legs. I had some fake tan so was all sounding promising, (you can blame miss  Angeleyes40 for this by the way) so out came the fake tan, sat in the bathroom ready for the wonder of lovely sun kissed legs. Well I am sure as you have figured by now things didn’t go to plan. The more I rubbed it in to stop the streaks being visible the worse it got, I had big thick brown lines where I had rubbed too much and take it right back off, **** and I have just had a shower I don’t have time for another. So there was me wiping fake tan off my legs and feet with baby wipes desperately trying to remove all trace of my bright idea. Fine all gone I can get on with my day.

I was just getting ready to leave the house when my mobile rang and it was my mum asking me to pick her up in town as my dad had been rushed to the hospital. So we got her and dashed up there. I was sat on one side of my dad’s bed and my mum was stood on the other looking after my dad. She looked down at me and said "Carrie? What have you done to your legs?" I looked down and they were a deep red looking very sore and my feet were exactly the same. I must have turned the same shade of red having to explain to my mum in a hospital that I had an accident with a bottle of fake tan!

She then looked at my top half as we were talking and she said "What have you got on your chest? Is that fake tan too?" I looked and laughed and said "no, that is my nicotine patch." She thought I had rested my hand on my chest and given myself a red/brown blob on my chest too. Remind me never to fight with a bottle of fake tan again, at least I didn't look like I had been tangoed! LOL

I will get off and you all have to keep Kooky company until I am around more often again. I am keeping an eye on you checking you're all behaving (!) but I am a little busy and distracted just now.