Sorry for the absence

Well where to start! Things have been very chaotic the last couple of months it started with my dad taking ill back in July and he passed away peacefully on the 22^nd July there was all the emotions to deal with and preparing for the funeral then the day itself, which alone was exhausting. 

Quit day 11, and updates on dad and coping.

Early morning friends.

I am heading into day 11 of the big quit attempt and am doing well so far still, I didn't have a patch on yesterday and didn't use my nicotine spray at all, I had a few cravings but they soon passed if I occupied myself. I am determined to stick at it, and I feel I don't want the nicotine replacement if I can manage without it, as that is the point I want off nicotine, and 3 months of patches and sprays feels as though I not achieving what I aim to. I can have nicotine out of my body in two weeks if I do it myself, which has to be favourable to over 3 months!

Day 9 of quitting smoking, and a difficult time for my family.

Morning friends.

First of all can everyone give Kooky a giant thank you for me, she is doing a sterling job keeping the posts up so that there is plenty for everyone to look at and read, and they're fab. 


My Dad took ill on Thursday and got rushed to hospital from the care home he is in. He was allowed to go back to the home as there is nothing they can do. We don't want him in hospital as he gets very distressed and gives up trying to do anything, the staff don’t have time to care for him as the home does, and it is really not ideal. He has very advanced dementia and is not aware of what is happening around him. 


Sadly he is not expected to pull through he isn’t opening his eyes and is only taking fluids if fed with a syringe into his mouth. We have come to terms with the fact that he isn’t going to get better and that for him, he is better off if he does slip away as he has absolutely no quality of life. I wouldn't wish dementia on my worst enemies; it is a cruel illness that steals the person’s soul.

Okay doom and gloom over now the good news. I am still managing not to smoke, Thursday I had a rocky period where I thought I can't cope I need a cig. But then realised it was I was hungry, and in the past when I was hungry I often smoked, so I got back to my mums and made something tasty to eat and was absolutely fine.

Nature's bounty.

Time passes, but sometimes it's mighty slow, especially when there's nothing much doing. Inactivity, especially when it's forced upon us as it is with CFS, can be very mentally straining. I'm a great fan of the natural world. Being able to observe wildlife and the weather is one of the things that has helped me keep my equilibrium throughout my illness. 

In the mood

How are you today? Ok? Happy? Sad? Depressed?

For CFSers depression is an added insult, likely brought on as a result of our battles for recognition for our illness, for medical help, for employment rights, for financial assistance and for self-respect.

It's not surprising that because of all we go through, that we become vulnerable to and victims of depressive illness. In my case I suffered because I could not see a way forward. I felt like I was going to be seriously ill for ever. Rollo May puts it well...

CFS - like climbing Everest in heels.

I'd like to think I'd been smart enough to think up that title on my own, but I think that I must have stolen it from somewhere else, rarely am I that original!

In a rare switch from my optimistic nature, today I am going to tell you some of my less cheery thoughts on CFS. As the title says, having CFS can be like climbing Everest in heels.