CFS - A husband's perspective.

I was kicking about topics for the next blog, and I mentioned to my husband that I wasn't feeling any inspiration.  He then kindly volunteered the title and we talked about how he felt about living with a CFSer.  We've been together 20 years now, and I've had CFS all the time that we've known each other, but oddly I don't think we've ever talked about how my illness impacts on him.  I guess it's just been part of the background until now.  Here are a few of my husband's thoughts...

Day 9 of quitting smoking, and a difficult time for my family.

Morning friends.

First of all can everyone give Kooky a giant thank you for me, she is doing a sterling job keeping the posts up so that there is plenty for everyone to look at and read, and they're fab. 


My Dad took ill on Thursday and got rushed to hospital from the care home he is in. He was allowed to go back to the home as there is nothing they can do. We don't want him in hospital as he gets very distressed and gives up trying to do anything, the staff don’t have time to care for him as the home does, and it is really not ideal. He has very advanced dementia and is not aware of what is happening around him. 


Sadly he is not expected to pull through he isn’t opening his eyes and is only taking fluids if fed with a syringe into his mouth. We have come to terms with the fact that he isn’t going to get better and that for him, he is better off if he does slip away as he has absolutely no quality of life. I wouldn't wish dementia on my worst enemies; it is a cruel illness that steals the person’s soul.

Okay doom and gloom over now the good news. I am still managing not to smoke, Thursday I had a rocky period where I thought I can't cope I need a cig. But then realised it was I was hungry, and in the past when I was hungry I often smoked, so I got back to my mums and made something tasty to eat and was absolutely fine.

Stuffed Chillies in Walnut Sauce

I am a bit of a chilli fan! I grow my own and we eat them with most everything. This is a recipe from the Vegan Society that we like to eat, it's healthy and tasty.  

Nature's bounty.

Time passes, but sometimes it's mighty slow, especially when there's nothing much doing. Inactivity, especially when it's forced upon us as it is with CFS, can be very mentally straining. I'm a great fan of the natural world. Being able to observe wildlife and the weather is one of the things that has helped me keep my equilibrium throughout my illness. 

In the mood

How are you today? Ok? Happy? Sad? Depressed?

For CFSers depression is an added insult, likely brought on as a result of our battles for recognition for our illness, for medical help, for employment rights, for financial assistance and for self-respect.

It's not surprising that because of all we go through, that we become vulnerable to and victims of depressive illness. In my case I suffered because I could not see a way forward. I felt like I was going to be seriously ill for ever. Rollo May puts it well...

Houmous / Hummus/ Hummous

One of my favourite foods is houmous.  I have no idea how to spell it, but that's largely irrelevant as I'm really only concerned with eating the glorious stuff!

Day 7 of quitting smoking, updates and learning to say no.

Morning friends

People with CFS have a hard lesson to learn, saying ‘No.’ Most of us want to please and want to be of use to people especially those we love.

A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.
Mohandas Gandhi

CFS - like climbing Everest in heels.

I'd like to think I'd been smart enough to think up that title on my own, but I think that I must have stolen it from somewhere else, rarely am I that original!

In a rare switch from my optimistic nature, today I am going to tell you some of my less cheery thoughts on CFS. As the title says, having CFS can be like climbing Everest in heels.